Where have you been lately, Mr. Morgan?

In the interest of good documentation, I thought I would share where I've been the last few days. For the first time, The Boo Hag has been a part of a few blogs. I had a review at book lovers paradise first, and that was followed by a fun interview at twimom101bookblog and a scary guest post at pretty in fiction. Check out the good ol' links down there. 100% fun guaranteed.

http://twimom101bookblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/top-10-with-author-david-morgan.html#comment-form

http://www.prettyinfiction.com/2012/04/guest-post-david-morgan-author-of-boo.html

http://bookloversparadise.blogspot.com/2012/04/please-allow-me-to-introduce-to-you.html#comment-form

All’s fair in love and mailbag

Mailbag has evolved. You’d think it would take more than four weeks, right? But who am I to stop progress? It turns out the mailbag isn’t just for reading and writing questions anymore. It’s for reading and writing. Don’t get me wrong. I just mean there’s more to it these days. When you achieve a certain level of celebrity, people count on you. You become a lighthouse in the seas of life. A source of advice for the world-weary traveler. Have I achieved that status? Am I one that people can trust to solve their problems? Their moral issues? The more mundane questions of their lives? The simple answer can be summed up like this: no. But a more complicated answer would be this: yes. Maybe that wasn’t more complicated, but it felt like it was. It has more letters. More letter.

Can I tell people what to ask me? Do I have the power to get inside people’s heads and pull out only the questions I want to answer? I don’t. If I did I would be a mutant. Have you seen the X-Men? Being a mutant could turn out very badly for me. Although it may be cool. Who doesn’t want nearly indestructible metal claws at their beck and call. I do, but I digress. I am not a mutant, so I am at the mercy of the e-mailing public. No indestructible claws here, just a pledge to answer your questions. Come, curious petitioner. Sue no more in vain for response. The mailbag…THE MONDAY MAILBAG is waiting.

Something terrible happened to me today. I was driving to school with the windows down because it was so nice out. I love spring, but now I don’t know how I feel about it. Maybe winter is better because the cold keeps your windows closed. Ugh! I can hardly even write it, it’s too horrible. So, I was at the light just by the school parking lot and was alone. Sometimes when I’m alone I like to sing. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wrong. So, I’m wailing away to some Miley Cyrus when a car full of cute boys drives up. They were in the lane right next to me. Laughing. I don’t even know how long they were there before I saw them. I was mortified, opposite of LOL! I’m an idiot. What do I do?

Hannah, Butte MT

Opposite of LOL indeed, Hannah, from the home state of my father. Having spent time in Montana, even having passed through Butte, I feel a special connection with you. With you and the statue of that woman that overlooks the town there. That’s in Butte, right? I hope so, or I’m the idiot here.

Anyway, so you got caught rockin’ out to a few bars of Miley. Big deal. Right? Who hasn’t thrown their own impromptu party in the USA? I know I have. But I get it. It’s high school. It’s boys. It’s all that drama.

Well, listen, let’s assume you know these guys. They go to your high school, maybe you see them at a party or something. All I can say is, the next time you hang out, you will redeem yourself. I mean, your heart can’t rest til then, so you’ll be ready. I suggest you find out when the next big high school, teen, crazy party’s gonna be and you plan ahead. Go to some kind of pet store and buy a bunch of crickets or a box full of feeder mice. Then when the guys are away from their car, let go of your new friends inside. Then you get in that party and you have yourself a good time! You get those boys off your mind!

But, somehow, Hannah, I don’t think that advice suits you. You're better than that. Revenge is beneath you, and if you stoop down there, you’re just cheapening who you are. You become less you in a way. I say, when people find you unexpectedly belting out Miley Cyrus, you sing louder. Eardrum-poppingly, strain-your-vocal-chords loud. You be you. Who cares what everyone else thinks? Hannah, there’s always gonna be another embarrassment; you’re always gonna wanna hide in shame. Always gonna feel a little silly; sometimes you’ll feel downright lame. It ain’t about exacting re-venge; ain’t about projecting anger on the other guy. There’s no time! Yeah, yeah, yeah. There’s no time!

There’s no time for those hurt feelings, Hannah. Bad feelings damage only you. Let it go. Sing on. Just know, whether you're in the car, your room, at school, or wherever, if you’re jammin’ to Miley, this guy’s belting it out right along with you.

Problem? Solved. This is your Monday Mail…bag!

Monday Mailbag, paradise edition

Well look what time it is. And by time of course I mean day. The hour is actually of little significance. What’s important, however, is the fact that it’s Monday, and I will be posting a Monday Mailbag today. It will be the first time. I made a big deal about posting on Tuesday last week, only to find out that the first Mailbag ever was actually also posted on Tuesday. Whoops. Well, color me embarrassed. Anywhoodles, here it is, for the first time ever on Monday, your Monday Mailbag!

This week I dug deep. After poring for hours over scores of questions, I came up with the one. I sifted through meaningless questions, you know, meaning of life type stuff, and came away with what people really want to know.

What are you gonna do with your first million?

Leia Kaanapali, HI

Leia, did you know that I was on my way to visit you in Maui in late 2010? Of course you didn’t. I wasn’t the uber-famous author I am now. But I was. Tickets purchased and everything. I wanted to get a little piece of, in the words of Coldplay, para-para-paradise. Or in the word broken up and repeated of Coldplay I guess. But you know what? I don’t want to talk about it. Did I make it to Hawaii? I’m not gonna answer that question. Suffice it to say that talking about it feels like my heart is covered in super-adhesive band-aids that are being pulled off slowly and excruciatingly a millimeter at a time. Let’s just drop it.

So, what I am going to do with my first million. Well, Leia, you’re going to have to be a little more specific. Unfortunately, you can’t be. There just isn’t time. I’d have to write you back and then wait for your reply. It would put the whole Monday thing in serious jeopardy. So, I’m just going to assume you’re asking the obvious question. What am I going to do with my first million published words? Well, I knocked of 90k+ with The Boo Hag, so I’m well on my way. Right now I’m working on a little summer lovin’ story in the Missouri heat that may involve a witch or two. That’s gonna be another 60k at least. After that, it’s back to Lenny and the gang for another 90k or so. So, unless my math is off, I guess that covers it.

And that’s your Monday Mailbag!

Monday Mailbag, belated

Last week I started my first ever weekly piece on my blog: The Monday Mailbag. This
week, I skipped it. That’s right, I stuck to my recurring piece for exactly one time. I can’t
even say once in a row because, let’s be honest, one can’t really be a row.

But I’m here now. And I have a good excuse for yesterday’s epic failure. I was driving
all day to get home. All day as in left hotel at 8 am and got home at about 7:15 pm. And
I didn’t want to write a Monday Mailbag. I just didn’t, okay? But I feel like it today.
Because if I don’t do it now, the email is really gonna be piled up, and next week I’ll be
buried in a burgeoning avalanche of letters. So here it is…your Monday Mailbag! Tuesday
edition.

So, what’s this I hear about a boo hag movie?
Herbert Waterloo, IA

First of all, my man Herbert, can I just say, what a great name! I love me some Herbert.
I’m a man of concision. I don’t like names that can’t be shortened. And if not shortened,
at least changed in a fun way. You know what I mean, Herb? Bert? Herbie? You see
what I mean? And on top of the fun, I used to work with a Herb. I don’t know if he was
an actual Herbert, but I’m gonna say he was. He seemed like a Herbert in a wonderfully
ghetto-fabulous kinda way. We were dishwashers at a country club. I was sixteen, he
was pushin’ sixty. He used to regale me with stories of gunshot wounds and knife fights.
But only when he wasn’t assuring me in no uncertain terms that he could school me
unmercifully on the basketball. I’m tellin’ ya, I love me some Herb.

Anyway, the movie thing is just a rumor. For now. But I’ve heard it. It seems like
multiple times a day I’m hearing about Gary Ross. About Josh Hutcherson. And of
course about Jennifer Lawrence. Some might say the trio could make it together. That
they could really bring a book to life. I don’t know, but I would be willing to listen. I
could be convinced.

Is it a coincidence that those names are being tossed around at the same time The Boo
Hag is in the infancy of its publication? I don’t believe in coincidences. I only believe
that sometimes two or more random things happen at nearly the same time in such an
alarming fashion that it would seem like they have something to do with one another. But
coincidences? They’re just not for me.

And that’s your Monday Mailbag! Tuesday edition

Monday Mailbag!

Since I published my book last week, the emails have been rolling in. Or, in the name of all things grammar, I feel it is my duty to say, the email has been rolling in. It’s coming fast and furious. I can hardly keep up with it. I’m sorry that I can’t get to you all; I’m trying but I’m just one man. And believe me, when you get the instant fame like I have, it’s hard to deal with right away. Since I can’t get to all the email, much to my shame and dismay, I’m gonna pick an email and random to answer. And let me tell you, I’ve been getting some crazy questions from crazy places. So, let me reach my virtual hand into my cyberhat, and here we are…question number one from the first ever David is Super Famous Monday Mailbag

Who do you think you are?
-Sophie Burlington, VT

Excellent question, Sophie in Vermont. I love Vermont in the fall. There’s nothing like a early-late-mid-evening walk in the crisp autumn air. Unwinding after a long day while winding through a veritable forest of, well, trees. It sounds lovely. I’ve never been, but that’s how I imagine it would be.

But I digress. Who do I think I am? Who do I think I am? Who do I think I am? I could go on and on. I mean, there are still four words that haven’t been emphasized, but what would that prove? Well, I mean, of course, other than the fact that English is just a smorgasbord of possibilities.

Anyways, a wise man, I think it was a kid in my elementary school. A bully really. He said to me, “Hey, jerk,” He was punching me in the face while he spoke. “Hey, I think therefore I am!” And then he kicked me while I was down. And that’s always stuck with me. I think therefore I am. Let that be a lesson to you, Sophie.

Until next time, this is your Monday Mailbag.

Published

The Boo Hag is officially published. That's right, my friends, it's out there. You can get it here https://www.createspace.com/3756346. It will be available on the nook and kindle soon. It's going through the review process now. It's awesome and inexpensive, so go and buy it...and recommend it to others.  You're all I got!

A new post. Woo-hoo!

I feel like it’s been too long since I’ve posted on here. I mean, like 8 people know this blog exists, and 4 of them have come over for a look. How can I keep them waiting…what has it been? Three weeks? It feels like more.

I just haven’t had anything exciting to write about. Not true. There is always exciting stuff to write about. I could have written about my dismal NCCA tournament bracket. Or my nose, which has recently been pointed out to me by a ten-year-old, is like a cave with hair. Or my family’s upcoming cross country trip with our 2+-month-old baby. I could have written about all of that. But I didn’t.

I’ve been busy proofing the proof of The Boo Hag. It’s taken up a lot of my time lately. And it’s scintillating. I can barely stand how much fun I’m having. Okay, that may not be exactly true, but it hasn’t been that bad. And, while reading the book, especially in some of the later chapters, I’ve thought to myself, “This book ain’t half bad. I really think I would like this if I bought it.” I hope others feel that way too. So, that’s the excuse—proofing the proof—I will hide behind for not having added to the good ol’ blog.

Now for the good news…I have finished putting my corrections in the margins of the book, which means I just need to make the same corrections on the computer, get a new proof sent out, finish e-formatting, and then the book will be out. If that isn’t yay, then I don’t know what is.