Monday, October 15, 2012

Monthly, uh, I mean, Monday Mailbag

So, maybe it’s time for a name change. After looking over the last couple posts on here, I may need to start calling this the Monthly Mailbag instead of the Monday Mailbag. I could go off about all the things that have kept me from posting, and there have been a lot of things, but the truth is…I’m a bit of a slacker. I am. It’s true. But isn't that what all writers are? And if not all, at least, well, some. Some must be. It can’t possibly just be me. No, I’m sticking with my original theory. We are slackers when left to our own devices. I’m sorry to other writers out there who are less prone to slackativity than I. It feels good to be lumped in a group. I like slackalacious writers to be my group rather than writers nobody’s ever heard of. I shun that group. I refuse to send in my monthly dues. Well, on to the Monthly…er…Monday Mailbag. (Pay attention; it may be a while before you hear from me again.)

My niece is looking for a good book to read. Any suggestions?
Sam Patriot, IN

Are you kidding me, Uncle Sam? I can call you Uncle, I assume. And if you don’t like it, well then quit bringing up your niece. In the name of all things American, and holding a banner gloriously spangled with generous helpings of stars, I tell you, yes I can. Yes I can! Yes I can! Uh, sorry, in the election season, I guess I got a little carried away with the whole political speechificationizing and what not. Uncle Sam, in honor of you and all the good people of Patriot, IN, and more specifically to satisfy your niece’s literary desires, I present you…a book.

Gathering. Seriously, it’s a great book. Does she like America? Done. Witches? Got ‘em. Love? What red-blooded American teen doesn't?  Okay, I guess I’m assuming she’s a teenage girl. You didn’t say that, Uncle, but let’s just say she is. Well, I feel that it is my authorly duty to stand—or sit—before you—or in front of this keyboard—and say—type—that her life will not be complete until she reads this book. But also, the book will not be complete until she reads it. Or, better explained, the book is in the polishing stages, but will be on the shelves of a little bookstore called amazon soon. And when it is, she should get it.

Until then, assuming she’s one of the few who hasn't experienced it, have her read The Boo Hag. She’s gonna want to be ready when the sequel comes out soon.