Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday Mailbag, paradise edition

Well look what time it is. And by time of course I mean day. The hour is actually of little significance. What’s important, however, is the fact that it’s Monday, and I will be posting a Monday Mailbag today. It will be the first time. I made a big deal about posting on Tuesday last week, only to find out that the first Mailbag ever was actually also posted on Tuesday. Whoops. Well, color me embarrassed. Anywhoodles, here it is, for the first time ever on Monday, your Monday Mailbag!

This week I dug deep. After poring for hours over scores of questions, I came up with the one. I sifted through meaningless questions, you know, meaning of life type stuff, and came away with what people really want to know.

What are you gonna do with your first million?
Leia Kaanapali, HI

Leia, did you know that I was on my way to visit you in Maui in late 2010? Of course you didn’t. I wasn’t the uber-famous author I am now. But I was. Tickets purchased and everything. I wanted to get a little piece of, in the words of Coldplay, para-para-paradise. Or in the word broken up and repeated of Coldplay I guess. But you know what? I don’t want to talk about it. Did I make it to Hawaii? I’m not gonna answer that question. Suffice it to say that talking about it feels like my heart is covered in super-adhesive band-aids that are being pulled off slowly and excruciatingly a millimeter at a time. Let’s just drop it.

So, what I am going to do with my first million. Well, Leia, you’re going to have to be a little more specific. Unfortunately, you can’t be. There just isn’t time. I’d have to write you back and then wait for your reply. It would put the whole Monday thing in serious jeopardy. So, I’m just going to assume you’re asking the obvious question. What am I going to do with my first million published words? Well, I knocked of 90k+ with The Boo Hag, so I’m well on my way. Right now I’m working on a little summer lovin’ story in the Missouri heat that may involve a witch or two. That’s gonna be another 60k at least. After that, it’s back to Lenny and the gang for another 90k or so. So, unless my math is off, I guess that covers it.

And that’s your Monday Mailbag!

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